Archive for the Relationship Category

Keys to a Good Relationship

Posted in December 2009, Life, Relationship with tags , , , , , , on December 30, 2009 by B. Jones

As I sat at home today cleaning I remembered awhile back one of my dorm mates was discussing with me how she had just broke-up with her first boyfriend after I told her my two year anniversary was approaching.  I remember when I mentioned the length of my relationship she asked me what the key was to have a long-lasting relationship. Well I am not a relationship expert; in fact I’ve only dated one person.  Despite these minor flaws I have managed to stay with that one person for two years and we are still together (for young adults those years are often viewed as being the equivalent to dog years.)  I believe that there are common threads in all relationships that keep people together for 60 plus years and these same threads are what can cause a relationship to last only a few minor months.  So here are a few things that I think are keys to a good relationship.

1. Laughter-I think there is nothing sexier than a man who can make me laugh.  In fact, I’d probably date a butt ugly man who can make me laugh compared to a man who looked like Michael Ealy Continue reading

Things A Man Should Never Say To Me During First Encounters

Posted in December 2009, Relationship with tags , , , , , on December 13, 2009 by B. Jones

Today is another rainy and cold day down in Georgia.  I have two finals tomorrow, but I had a spur of the moment thought about how I’ve only had one boyfriend yet plenty of dudes from my age all the way up to being eligible for AARP with one foot in the grave have hit on me.  I then realized that there was a reason as to why I didn’t talk to these men…the lines that they’d come at me with were ridiculous.  Now I am what many Black men classify as being a bougie, stuck-up light-skin chick who thinks she’s better then everyone.  This isn’t the case in fact I’m far from any of those things.  If the male population approached more women like myself in the correct manner you wouldn’t receive the cold shoulder everytime.  So here’s a list of things NOT to say to me or any other woman:

  1. “Ay girl…”-I believe on my birth certificate under “Name” it does not list me as being named “Girl.”  I know “Ay girl…” is usually followed by “…what’s your name,” but damn it why can’t you walk up to me in a nice gentleman type manner and say, “Excuse me, my name is (insert name here). What’s your name?” No matter a females mood I feel she’s obligated to reply in a nice manner to you.  From there you can spark up an interesting conversation.
  2. “Ay ma…”-(1) I did not push you out of my womb so I am not your “ma.” I will make an exception to this though.  If you’re Latino you have a pass to come up to me and call me “mamacita.” (2)  Saying this reminds me of how old married men start calling their wives “ma.” I’m 19, don’t make me feel old. Continue reading

Is My Generation Growing Up To Settle On Being Nothing More Than The Baby Mama/Daddy?

Posted in December 2009, Relationship with tags , , , , , , , , on December 11, 2009 by B. Jones

Well, well, well…this entire week I couldn’t figure out what in the hell I was gonna write on here after my last post (Click Here To Read) which got the most hits during my 3 week blog life.  Then I went over to Necole Bitchie‘s blog and I had an idea.  The post that’s linked up to this blog is a reader’s response to Ms. Bitchie calling the father of one of Erykah Badu’s children her “baby’s father.”  The reader basically explained why she finds the word disgusting and I can’t agree/disagree with it more. Continue reading

Why Do Women Say They’re Saving Their Virginity For “Mr. Right?”

Posted in December 2009, Relationship with tags , , , , on December 8, 2009 by B. Jones

Okay, I was over at Naked With Socks On and ran across an article titled Virgin Blues (Do Men Only Want Sex From A Woman?) that caught my attention.  In a letter a 21 year old girl talks about how she met a guy who she TEXTED with for weeks and after about three times hanging out I believe he tried to get it or things were just getting a little too hot for her taste.  When she realized what he wanted she decided to inform him that she was waiting on “Mr. Right,” whoever the hell that is.  Now she stated that she wasn’t waiting until she got married to lose her virginity and if that’s the case, how do you know that you’ll have “Mr. Right?”  Now I have no problem with people wanting to save their virginity, but don’t say you’re waiting on “Mr. Right” if you’re not waiting until marriage because honestly dating a guy two years and then giving up the goodies to him doesn’t mean he’s the one.  Why do I say that?  Well that boyfriend who waited two years of going without sex can leave you because 1.) He got what he wanted out of you.  (Your virginity and sex).  2.) Something goes completely wrong in the relationship and it can’t be saved. I held the idea that I was going to wait until I got married, but then I started dating and realized that I was going to give into my teenage hormones before marriage because certain things feel good and I realized that I wanted to give into my curiousity of how it felt. Continue reading

12 Rules for A Successful Relationship – Essence.com

Posted in December 2009, Relationship with tags , , , , on December 2, 2009 by B. Jones

12 Rules for A Successful Relationship – Essence.com.

I always LOVE the Essence magazine articles that are on love and relationships, they speech so much truth.

12 rules for a successful relationship:

1. Never yell unless there is a fire.
2. Your first romantic efforts are usually your tools for longevity never throw them away.
3. Always renovate the structure of your relationship nothing new can ever grow on old soil.
4. If you follow rule three you will remain in tact through any storm.
5. If one person is finance someone has to be management, each individual should respect the others job.
6. Sacrifice things that are in reason for the benefit of the relationship.
7. Give from your heart and never from your mouth for the heart has no mouth for speaking only actions for doing!
8. Listen to your partner don’t hear them! When you are truly listening you are not thinking of your rebuttal or contemplating your defense.
9. Want for your partner what you would want for yourself.
10. Saying that you are working on your bad habits is just an excuse for delaying the change. The cure is simple change the bad habit.
11. Keep the arguments clean and the sex dirty.
12. Communication is key Democritus Of Abdera said it best: “To do all the talking and not willing to listen is a form of greed.”

Nicholas “Sixx” King is a Los Angeles-based single father, producer, activist and author of the forthcoming book “Giving Love A Chance: The Secrets to Men, Women & Relationships.”

Response: Naked vs. Non-Naked Time (How Important Is Sex)

Posted in November 2009, Relationship on November 30, 2009 by B. Jones

Okay, so I haven’t posted on here in a minute but I was recently on Naked With Socks On and came across an article titled Naked Time vs. Non-Naked Time .  If you didn’t click on the link it was basically an article where a guy spoke on a conversation that he had with his friend about how they’ve matured as males especially in the area of females.  I’m not a man (Duh!), but I think the articles main subject of how much time you spend with the opposite sex (or same sex if that’s your thing) naked or clothed can speak to both genders.  I’ve only dated one person and only one person has had the pleasure of seeing me naked.  Of course it took a year and five months many dates of opening the door for me, silent treatments, and earning of my trust to reach this point.  I think that might have been the greatest decision of my two year relationship because we’re still together.  There are times when I regret this decision (mainly after he’s upset me), but it made my relationship stronger than most.  Sex is important in my relationship.  Seeing how I don’t see my boyfriend that often now (we mainly talk on the phone or Skype) I make sure that when he’s home he leaves satisfied physically. Continue reading

Is Being A Jealous Boyfriend Or Girlfriend A Bad Thing?

Posted in November 2009, Relationship with tags , , , , on November 19, 2009 by B. Jones

via Getty Images

Recently I was asked by a friend if I felt being a jealous boyfriend or girlfriend was a bad thing.  I know immediately the answer “YES!!!” pops up into just about everybody’s mind, but lets sit and think about it for a moment.    Sure no one wants somebody breathing down their neck 24/7, but if mate didn’t act a tiny bit jealous how would you feel?  I’ve been in a relationship for over 2 years and my boyfriend shows little to no jealousy at all.  I ask him about it especially when it comes to me hanging out with male friends why he acts as if he doesn’t care and his response is “I know he’s not your type so why be jealous?” Sometimes this would make me so upset because while I would be huffing and puffing over him talking to some girl I did or didn’t know he was just as cool, calm, and collective about me talking to a guy he didn’t know.  There were times when I would ask myself “What, does he think nobody out there wants me except for him?” which  when looking back makes me realize how immature I was to relationships.  (Note:  This is my first boyfriend)  I now realize that being jealous can be a blessing and a curse. Continue reading